Living in Laneville!

Our time in Alabama was eventful, profitable for learning and eye opening. I did not know that there was a place within the U.S. that could have so much ignorance and still preach like they were the only pocket on God's green earth that was right. Needless to say, moving from there was one of the smartest decisions we made and has opened up a great amount of opportunities that we would not have been afforded had we stayed.

So, where are we now? Living in Laneville...... Texas to be exact. The town of Laneville boasts a 4 way intersection, several closed businesses and a single eatery that most say is good, though we haven't taken the time to try it. Two churches, Baptist and Methodist (we don't attend either) and a park that was dedicated to somebody, not really sure why and the local post office. All in all it is a pleasant environment, people seem to leave each other alone, and that's my preference. The boys enjoy 3 acres behind the house we are renting and the local park is only a few steps away.

Someone has cut the grass at the park recently, the boys are enjoying the weather a bright sunny day 77 degrees and a brisk wind.

Eric and I are still pursuing education, Eric is in his 3rd semester of an Environmental Masters while he works as the Environment, Health and Safety Manager over the Satcom work in Kilgore, a great position which he seems to be thriving at.

I am continuing my Masters in Mental Health Counseling, trying to keep my head above water while homeschooling, raising 4 boys and tending to all sorts of crisis within the home :)

We have recently begun pursuing a Reactive Attachment Diagnosis for your two younger boys. I detest labels but unfortunately the whole of society including family will call you a liar unless you have a doctor (who does NOT know your child) write a note about what you tell them ABOUT YOUR CHILD! It's a sad world we live in. Either way the information put forward for people raising RAD kids has been extremely helpful and we have had some, albeit small, advances in improved behavior. I hope to soon have a small informational post along with a book I wrote that is humorous yet factual on the stress RAD's have on a family and what friends, family and teachers can do to help!

I can honestly say that one of the best things about being in Laneville, TX is that it is appx 40 minutes from Longview, TX where two of the wisest people I know live. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with my Grandparents and cherish each opportunity I have to assist them. The knowledge and truth that they share in conversations is priceless, something that can not be matched by others in my life and the humor they share is often priceless as well. I feel honored to bring my kids over for a visit or two, sometimes those few hours are more valuable than all the training and instruction they get from Eric and I in a week. So these are just a few things about us and our lives, living in Laneville.

Living life....... and letting go!

Today, of all days Eric milks the cow. Typically this is reserved to the soft hands of myself who has a gentle touch the cow greatly appreciates! But today I am relinquishing this opportunity to Eric.

It isn't really that he can't do it but that I do it more efficiently! I do it with speed he seems to get confused as to which fingers close first and then there's the issue of thinking he's getting dirt in the milk ( not a pleasant thought at all ) but I am letting him do it!

I have learned 3 things about letting Eric do things and I can imagine many women have learned the same.
1. Actually let them do it.
2. Give them a short list of suggestions
DO NOT tell them what or how to do it
even if you have been doing it forever.
3. LEAVE THE AREA!!!

This last tidbit is the most important part! Just leave the area, what ensues will either be comical, tragic or amazing! Either way the outcome will not be available if you stick around to watch the action.

So, this morning we will see the result of Eric milking Delilah! She typically refuses to give milk for a whole day after he touches her, I am hoping that is not the outcome today!

Living for the Prodigal

It isn’t every day that one lives with a child who sincerely disregards all better options only to ensure that they disobey and disrespect at a level that will soon drive them to view the interior of a prison or at best the interior of an otherwise empty home.

And yet, every day I wake, I have been living for a prodigal. Some of you have been making a decision to live for your prodigal for weeks, months, even years now and every day it is the same life sucking event. This prodigal has the potential to ruin your moments, your days, your marriage, relationships and lives. No matter which way you look at it, this one child, person or individual can and will with or without intent continue to destroy the people around them. And choosing to live for them is wrong. Yes, you heard me CHOOSING TO LIVE FOR THEM IS WRONG.

For me, it really wasn’t the disrespect or even the down right manipulative aspects of my child but really it was the unique amount of selfishness he seemed to be able to pack into his tiny 6 year old frame. The ability to always want everything to be centered around him, to threaten his brothers stability of enjoying life to the point that no one wanted to be around him, and yet he could still manage to influence them all. He really makes the house an awful place to be. After much research I came across an amazing link that assisted me in better understanding just how selfish this little boy was.

According to an ODD pamphlet distributed by Notmykid.org,

Those with ODD, “like to see you get mad. Every request can end up as a powerful struggle. Lying becomes a way of life, and getting a reaction out of others is the chief hobby. Perhaps hardest of all to bear, they rarely are truly sorry and often believe nothing is their fault.”

Sadly, the pamphlet didn’t offer some amazing cure and even left little hope for those thinking the behavior would somehow amazingly change. Actually it indicated that most people would go on to become yet another statistic or label that would otherwise be recognized as a psychiatric disorder and altogether excuse the individual from their selfish tactics.

As an individual who believes that all issues, on most levels, stem from selfishness. I recognize the issue at hand but realize that short of losing his arms or legs and having to become dependant on someone, my son has a limited understanding of what it means to be selfless. And, in some cases even such an awful event would only render him a more deeply seeded selfish jerk.

So back to reality, earlier I said living for the prodigal is wrong. I meant that. So perhaps it would be better to understand what I meant. There are days when I would get up and my decisions were made in a way to attempt to avoid his outbursts, to work around his manipulations or even to eliminate his opportunities to damage me or my other children.

The most recent bouts of tantrums and disrespect finalized as my son kicked a large hole in his bedroom wall. It took everything in me to not send him flying through the window! As with any parent dealing with a manipulative and selfish driven child you are constantly challenged, by the child, by others and even by your own internal need to take a break. My son got an appropriate punishment and then he was taken to visit a friend of ours while I took the time to recover and begin to assess what I should have done differently.

It didn’t take me long to realize what I should have done.

1. When a child who knowingly and willingly destroys property as a repeated offense. CALL LAW ENFORCEMENT

2. LET THEM GO

3. PRAY

I conclusively decided that if this occurred again I would follow the above steps because I love my son, I love him enough to understand that all my love will NEVER make him respectful, it will never make him want to love others, it will never make him love himself enough to make a respectful person of himself. All my love can NEVER do these things. That’s a lot for the mother of a prodigal to accept but it is the truth.

So, after a week away my prodigal will come home, his room has been repainted, the hole repaired, a new bed set, a writing desk and a lamp with a cars themed lampshade sits nicely on the desk, his pillows have been fluffed and we will celebrate his return! But, his return will not be without a strong warning, “if you ever choose to willfully destroy property or harm another person, we as your parents, without hesitation will call the proper authority to detain, charge and keep you until you have completed the time or sentence that the judge sees appropriate to give you.”

We will make this choice because we love you.

There are so many people I know even in my own family, that are living with a prodigal and they are serving that prodigal, they are hoping and praying that their unwillingness to give up will make that prodigal change, but it is at the lowest point that a prodigal learns what it means to turn from selfishness and it is at the lowest point that a person learns what it means to be loved and to love others. A prodigal is, when enabled, incapable of seeing the need to change. A prodigal will drain you and make you incapable of seeing how drained you have become. I had to learn that it was not respectful or motherly to drain all my energy on my prodigal and leave little time or patience for my three children who where in good earnest trying to respect, honor and obey. I had to learn that the priority I made for my prodigal was inappropriate and unacceptable and I will be telling my prodigal that the time will be delivered when it is needed, not when it is wanted or demanded. My time will not be determined by my prodigal and my prodigal will not dictate my going and my coming.

If the time comes that I must let go, I would rather that the God almighty give me the strength to let go than sin consume me that I am so selfish to let my other children pay the price for my prodigal. This lesson is not without a heavy heart but it is definitely better learned now while I still have many years to raise my boys! I would hate for the prodigal to distract me from all the wonderful things they will do in the years to come. I will pray for my prodigal, and with strength, raise my boys.


A Mother’s Prayer for her Prodigal

I love my child, with all I am
No matter where the sin may send
But all my love can never change
Choices made when selfishness reigns

My choices will be hard at best
My heart will cry, my lips never rest
Prayers of hope and words of wisdom
But no longer will I be drained of living

For on the bench sit my others
Missing dearly their distracted mother
All my love so carelessly placed
I’ve seen the pain upon their face

Lord, give me strength to realize
The ones you gave me
Are precious in Your sight
And while in love you’ve entrusted me
Sometimes they belong back with Thee

So in Your wisdom let me be
Better prepared to let my prodigal be
To let them be alone again
To let them be alone in sin
To let them choose the way they will
Within the restraints of laws and judges

I pray you keep my child safe for me
But never so safe they can harm others freely
I pray you reach their heart for me
But never at the cost of another heart
I pray you open their eyes to see
But if when opened they turn their back on Thee
I pray you give me strength to let the child go
Back to the merciless law and foe. AMEN

Revisiting Reality!

It's been a while since I have considered the realities of what life really is about, but then again who has the time? LOL

Today I have had a wonderful morning, got up, milked the cow, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, made bread dough ( it's rising ) and plated blueberry crumb bars compliments of Smitten Kitchen and yet through the midst of it all we managed to feed 6 kids and get them dressed! I think it is amazing that all of this can happen in a matter of a couple hours! And we think God couldn't create the world in 6 days!! LOL He is the master of multitasking.

After a delightful morning, we had a visit from the "church" way out of line but hey they're trying right? Don't get me started, wasn't it that creepy little Yoda dude that said "do or do not, their is no try!"..... I don't mind the church but please people bother to have SOME christian standards :)

So after the "church" visit that went as well as a pile of crap in a pristine chapel, the kids have been playing outside and on the Wii and we have enjoyed a really great day! Nothing about this world is simple but yet if we let it be, there is a simple peace about knowing that no matter which way the storm rolls, we are covered! We don't need to build an Ark, we don't have to sacrifice our children or beg for a statue to do a miracle.

Blessed beyond measure and filled to unimaginable heights our God is bigger than any other god and most importantly He is actively participating in our life, in the past, today and we know He will continue to do so in the future.
The best part is He is letting us see Him in our life, that is what life is truly about!!!

Time for a review!!! MyFitnessPal App.....

I generally don't care to write reviews but I felt that this app has been a significant part of my last couple weeks and without sharing it how can others benefit!

MyFitnessPal a FREE app created by MyFitnessPal LLc is one of the best apps I have found for food, fitness and calorie tracking! Not only does it allow you to scour the 750,000 foods within their database it also allows you to create and save any foods that are not in the database.

The application also allows you to connect with friends much like facebook or myspace, allowing for comments of encouragement or correction if need be! Having enjoyed many a meal out, this app has been the start of what I hope to say is the last time I will overeat out of ignorance!

The reality is in this fast pasted world of going going gone, we actually get tricked by food labels and packaging that boast a healthy alternative only to discover that that alternative was full of all the things we don't want! There have been hundreds even thousands of days that I have consumed what I though was a healthy and balanced diet only to discover my ignorance.

Today I follow a pretty tight schedule of consumption, sticking closely to the caloric intake suggestion made by MyFitnessPal and the results are amazing. I stepped on the scale to a number I hadn't seen in 6 months and to my delight I have lost a whole pant size!

While I don't expect this app to do the work for me, it definetly makes my daily consumption easier and healthier all around! So, if your looking for something to help you stay on track or if you and your friends want to start a diet together this is the app that can help you connect with your friends and reconnect with the body you once had!

Thank you rain!!

In a world were being couped inside with four boys would sound like a horrific experience, especially when the boys are 7, 5, 5, and 4. I must confess that I am finding today to be a wonderful treat and while I wish that today were Saturday so I could crawl into my bed and sleep away the peaceful pitter patter as it falls on the roof I will not complain. The last week has been spent in significant heat.

There is nothing more realistic on a June day in Alabama than to be using box fans and ice packs to try to keep cool. With the A/C being out lately it has been hot, humid and at times pretty miserable for my husband! The boys and I seem to fair well, but the reality is HOT is HOT no matter how well you tolerate it!

Today, it is raining! With an occasional roll of thunder that is sure to let you know that the Almighty is still working his musical magic in the skies and a bolt of lightening to remind you not to play outside when God is playing with the weather! :)

The boys are basking in the idea that they may get to play WII all day and mom might not say a word as long as we don't argue!! They have all had baths and quiet time will of course be at least 30 minutes longer if the cloud cover stays throughout the day ( they always nap longer when the sun isn't blaring through their windows!

So, while I know that rain can be as much a pain to the construction worker, the welder, the gardner and even to the occasional mom who doesn't care to be trapped inside with all her monsters, to me the rain is a peaceful day, a time to reflect, a moment of still in a very hectic life. The rain is a reprieve from the heat and a time to consider the value of the weather wet or dry, hot or cold. In many a hot day, one small cloud will shade you for a moment, be thankful for the moment, and even on the wettest of days, there is a dry spot somewhere be it your house or under a tree.

Be thankful no matter what the weather may be!

Farewell Chicken Auction as we knew it before.......

Many of you shared in the excitement of the Chicken Auction as you read the cheerfully constructed post about our trip to the auction as well as the pictures we shared. Today I share with you the rest of the story......

One of the most notable things about the chicken auction trip is that you must pass through a mobile home park before you reach the parking lot.

That mobile home park was destroyed by the tornado.

Here is the where the front sign stood, followed by the picture that I took prior to the storm.

While we do not know to what extent they may or may not rebuild it, for now, we will not be able to enjoy the chicken auction any time in the near future.