I am a lazy woman.....

       I came into the door of my house tonight ready to go to sleep but that is not at all what was necessary. The kids needed to eat (cheers to my mother for giving me a pan of left over lasagna that just needed heating), the baby is hungry which requires me to stop what I'm doing to feed her, the dishes are piled high ( see picture to the right) laundry is on the floor, beds are not made, floors are not swept and there is NO WAY I'm showing you what kind of chaos the porch is in.  I must seriously be a lazy women.




   
        What kind of God fearing, self respecting woman would let the whole of her household look like an elementary student and a tornado organized for her? What kind of "mother" would allow her children to live like this....  I throw the baby in the walker, run water for the dishes, scream at the kid to find the dish soap that kids and hubby left outside where they had been washing the camper. Turn to the pan of lasagna and hack a few servings out carelessly dumping them on disposable plates and shove them into the microwave for a mere 30 seconds which might be great for a cup of coffee but is seriously not enough time for their food. I find a bag of steam-able green beans in the fridge and dump them in the microwave for 5 minutes, mutilate the bag with a pair of scissors I dug out of the dish water, dish up the green beans and tell my son that hates them that they're a new variety and thus consumable by his otherwise anti green bean palate. Score! He buys the line and off they go out the door to eat on the porch (which I remind you will not be featured in the pictures tonight due to the utter chaos that is present) while I begin to "put away" with far less care than is required the stacks of cloths that are on the bar/table.... Seriously shoving them in drawers and tossing them in boxes in a manner that would on another occasion be considered highly offensive because they ended up unfolded due to poor handling. Ugh..... why can't laundry do itself?
       
       At this point I am ready to just throw in the towel, no pun intended but instead of tossing up my hands and screaming at the top of my lungs which really seems like a great idea at this point I dig my heals in and go back to the sink and proceed to accomplish a few dishes before I'm flooded with requests like; "Are we going to get a drink?" WATER have all the water you want. "Can we have a fork?" Do you see what I'm doing? Do you think I'd be doing it if it didn't absolutely have to be done????? Eat with the spoon I gave you... Use your hands for the green beans, they're long. "Can we play legos when we are done?" NO WAY it's late you're going to bed..... It's like I've spoken a strange language since they were born and they've landed in an aliens house and think the responses are going to somehow change...... GO TO BED.....


         BED..... oh my gosh look at my room..... I can't stand it. I have to get this situated before I can even think about going to bed.... mind you the baby is now practically foaming at the mouth for some mom time because I am completely ignoring her plea for attention. Wait a minute there are still dishes... crisis moment as I decide to abandon the half done dishes and proceed to pick up the bedroom area in hopes that upon return to the dishes I will "feel" ok that the bedroom is clean enough to go to bed in and thus motivate me to finish my psychotic attempt to right everything that has been wronged in the last three days.  Lets not even consider that there is another grown adult in this house hold and we both hold jobs.... that would be offensive at best to suggest that the other party is slacking.... The kids aren't helpless either at 11, 10 and almost 9 what in the heavens are they doing most of the time? Oh well... no time to dwell on that. On to the front door were the shoes were all over until I tucked them neatly in their cubby a touch of sweeping and on into the bathroom I go....

      Strip to underwear and t-shirt because there is NO GOOD REASON not to wear your blue jeans 2 days in a row and proceed to douse the very large tub with cleaner step over the side nearly clearing my feet from underneath me and swiftly clean the tub thinking maybe if I get up early enough in the morning I'll take a bath ( I haven't had one in two... no wait maybe three days) that's a big IF but definitely moving higher on the priority list. Pick up the dirty cloths that somehow make it next to but never in the basket. Finally I empty the trash and come out of the bathroom feeling like I've accomplished a small portion of an overwhelming task at the same time making a mental note that I should clean the bathroom first next time as it's nice to be out of my jeans and it makes you feel accomplished.

Holy mackerel where did the time go. The baby's sounds have now become intolerable to ignore so I throw some veggies in the oven on broil and lay down on the bed to feed her hoping the veggies won't end up being sticks of charcoal by the time I'm done.  After she eats I lay the angel in her bed and head back to the kitchen where I rescue my veggies, wipe off the top of the stove, get some cashew milk and cottage cheese and sit down for a short break. Finally I decide that the half done dishes, half swept floor, half cleaned bedroom and chaotic porch will just have to wait for another day when I'm not being a lazy woman.

         So to all the lazy women out there, take a minute and respect the fact that you are a hard working, lazy looking woman who will rarely get the recognition you'd like..... Go buy yourself some flowers to put on your half cleaned counter top and for heavens sake go to bed......... You can repeat the process tomorrow :)

Life is Awesome..... and then there's Alzheimers... and Anniversaries......

No really it isn't a joke at all. My life is currently almost exclusively Awesome! Awesome's diapers, Awesome's hungry, Awesome's being held..... yep it's Awesome. I am beyond blessed to finally hold in my grasps a beautiful baby girl that we have affectionately named Awesome!

Life has been quite a blur lately but I can honestly say that it's been a good blur. Boys, baby, grandparents, husband and soon I'll be taking classes again :) Compared to so many other times I can say that the hustle and bustle has got me tired. No i think it's more like really exhausted but not the give up it isn't worth it kind but rather the fall into bed lets do it all again tomorrow kind.

So lets talk about the not so awesome.... Grams has Alzheimers and I have had the privilege of being around Gram a lot lately (that's the awesome part of the not so awesome) and while each moment is bitter sweet, for Grams it has become mostly bitter. She is very confused and very unhappy and while we all know it's not really Grams talking it's still a lot to swallow and hard on those who care for her.  I think I'd nominate my Mom for Sainthood for accepting the challenge of living with Gram and I'd love it if I could grant my Grandfather patience and a blind eye that would only see the good and be able to forget the bad times when she is wearing him out over returning home (where ever that may be for the day). I love the moments when she holds Awesome and is delighted and content, confident in her ability to sooth and rock her but like all good storms the rain gives way to thunder and lightening fast. Gram can quickly become irritated if Awesome is squirming or even whimpering and that requires quick evasive action to ensure that the irritation is not long lasting. Then there's the constant packing.... remember she's going home..... and the trips to the bathroom, and the questions........ oh the questions......

"Where's my purse? Is it raining outside? Where am I? Who's house is this? Why can't we go home? I have three kids right? Is this my table? What's today? What are we doing here? Why can't we go home?

It's most always confusion and frustration mixed with a total inability to grasp any of the answers so you just answer and wait to answer again! However in the middle of it all there is this sense of amazement..... there are moments when I'm exhausted and I think seriously what is the deal why would God even think about doing this to someone.... why would He think about putting people through this day in and day out...... it's a slow fade and she didn't get a choice in this...... so why?  Ultimately I can't answer that but what I can say is that I have never been so blessed..... there are these little moments throughout the day, little nuggets of gold gleaned from my grandparents that really can not be replaced by anything else....

So what do Awesome, Alzheimers and Anniversaries have in common? Moments...... they are moments..... and every moment counts.

One of the most blessed days I have had with my grandparents was the day of their 60th wedding anniversary. The day started out like any other...... they got up, got dressed and proceeded out to the living room for breakfast and medicine..... socks and shoes..... all the normal daily grind that we face. Like any other day a trip to town is a great thing to do when you have nothing else on your schedule so we loaded up in the car and headed to Shreveport ( I think that's where we went lol ) and like any other day I expected a quiet ride, grandpa typically sleeps and grandma sits quietly in the back talking to Awesome.

Gram quietly asked from the back seat, "what's today" and Grandpa answered her "it's our 60th wedding Anniversary!" Sixty years Gram exclaimed, "I can't believe you've put up with me that long". Grandpa responded "I think it's been the other way around!"  About thirty minutes later Grandpa began to tell Grandma moment by moment the events of their wedding day..... where they were as each minute passed in the car as the timeline of the day passed it was met with little word pictures of their wedding day from start to finish..... from dressing and hair to the preachers prayer to lines from their vows...... every now an then he would say "do you remember that" and sometimes should would respond.... I remember..... Listening to him tell her the event he knew so clearly that her mind would no longer allow her to retain, the gentle reminder of a day so sacred that most think they will never forget it, at least not by choice and yet here Gram sat 60 years in and almost clueless to their accomplishment..... Moments...... simple moments.... What a blessing it was for me to hear the love and dedication on that day.... a private time in the car that had I not been driving I would never have heard the delicate interchange of love.......

All the while as I help my Gram it makes me think of a southern gospel song that over the years I have loved so dearly....... it goes like this....

Hold tight to the sound of the music of living,
Happy songs from the laughter of children at play;
Hold my hand as we run through the sweet fragrant meadows,
Making mem'ries of what was today.

Chorus: We have this moment to hold in our hands
and to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand;
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come,
But we have this moment today.

Tiny voice that I hear is my little girl calling,
For Daddy to hear just what she has to say;
And my little son running there by the hillside,
May never be quite like today.

Tender words, gentle touch and a good cup of coffee,
And someone who loves me and wants me to stay;
Hold them near while they're here and don't wait for tomorrow,
To look back and wish for today.

Take the blue of the sky and the green of the forest,
And the gold and the brown of the freshly mown hay;
Add the pale shades of spring and the circus of autumn,
And weave you a lovely today.

Gram can no longer weave her "lovely today" but on that day Grandpa did something for her by weaving her a lovely day. I hope that as I age I will have and experience the same opportunities to hold tight to the moments with my family to weave memories for myself and for others and if and when my mind disappears someone will be there to weave me a lovely day......

More lyrics http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/gaither_vocal_band/we_have_this_moment_today-lyrics-318634.html#ixzz3bfiC2E24