Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Laying it all out on the table.

In the last 6 months, many of you have followed me in a journey that both you and I will never forget. Many times you see the posts, positive, uplifting and memorable a few of you who have friended me on my personal page and on occasion see the posts that indicate that it isn't always easy. So today in an attempt to help you understand the journey that myself and my children have traveled in the last year I will be laying it out on the table, all of it.

Seven months ago I was a married woman, two biological boys and two adopted boys and life was fairly normal. My husband had a good job working with a great company, we were renting a house out in the country and enjoying the relatively close friends and family after moving to Texas in January. We attended Bar-None Cowboy Church where the boys had some great men and women guiding their learning while we sat in on the Sunday sermon each week. To the outside it was a picturesque christian family with the standard minor bump and bruises one might expect in life.

On the inside it was a tough struggle as honesty and integrity were not the staple of my spouse, it made me a sad, emotionally strained and often times nagging wife. I have no excuse for my responses and I am learning every day how to balance my responses in spite of others behaviors ( I'll let you know when I figure it out). One of the most devastating parts of the marriage was pornography, it is in my opinion one of the most vial, most utilized tools of the devil one might experience next to addictions. This was our life.

June 24th came and thus the introduction of hundreds of people to the life of our son, his condition and the overall need he had for prayer, we all needed prayer. You watched and waited, anticipated and prayed with us as God took our son from a crumpled mess to an amazing miracle, and you rejoiced with us as the journey unfolded. While so many of you complemented the faith you felt was displayed, you were in your responses such an intricate part of the healing process for me, as the prayers of many accomplish so much. I will never be able to thank you all individually for your prayer and support so please take this as a Thank You!

While some people may begin to read this and think, what is the relevance of this to Elijah? I hope that you will take the time to finish it so that you may better know how to direct your prayers as we have a journey behind the journey you see.

After returning from Rehabilitation with Elijah, all my boys were home in the same house and life started to normalize a little bit, though things between Eric and I were not normalizing at all.

He was angry, very angry. Angry at God, my mother for driving, angry at God again, angry at the church for their lack of response, angry at God. The defining moment in our marriage came when I saw him texting someone, when I asked who he responded "that's none of your business". I can officially say I lost it, after weeks in the hospital taking care of my child, monitoring and managing the care of our other 3 children who were also in San Antonio with friends while I was down there, I realized that he had had weeks of time to feed his anger and to seek comfort in places that may or may not have been appropriate. The end result was an altercation between us, Eric left that night. He returned home one time afterwards, it was not good, he left.

He filed for divorce on Sept. 21st, he traded his car in for a Jeep ( I felt like I had been stabbed, my son almost died in a car accident how could he think this was ok?). As with all divorces there were discussions, arguments and so many other things that go with it. Throughout this time my concerns were securing support and insurance for the children, Elijah needed the insurance, so do the other kids. In order for there to be support Eric had to have a job. I knew that the Jeep he had traded had never had the financing secured so I asked the attorney to award him the vehicle I was driving, though I knew it would jeopardize transportation for myself and the children I also knew that him not having transportation would jeopardize his ability to maintain a job thus risking financial support and insurance coverage. Making such a decision was not easy but I felt it was the best decision given the circumstances of his current vehicle.

On Nov. 27th, the divorce was finalized. A week later he requested the car because the dealership was requesting the Jeep back. I dropped the car off at the local bus station, stashed the keys and left. I don't know that the kids even reacted much to this, but for me leaving behind my source of transportation was difficult though I felt it was a necessary evil to make sure he kept his job.

God has plans that are beyond our understanding and despite my carefully considered planning. Eric was fired from his job Dec. 14th, the situation that led to the firing is undetermined at this point, but I have been told a number of things by various people. You can imagine how I took this news. Monday morning I went to his former job location to find out what I could about COBRA cost. I was informed that the insurance was terminated the day he was fired. I was devastated, I quickly learned that COBRA would cost $673 dollars a month just to carry Elijah, not my other boys, just Elijah.

I can not begin to explain all the details of everything that has happened in the last 6 months. At the beginning of this post I started by saying "7 months ago I was" so I will now finish this post with.... Today I am a single mother, I have no insurance, no income, no vehicle and due to circumstances that have no control over I will need to find another home to rent. After 11 years of marriage, my life had drastically changed, my children's lives had been rocked with an assault they never saw coming and through it all they are still doing well! Sure these things are impacting them, and yes they cry and wonder why all this is happening from time to time but ultimately they are handling it stoically with amazing strength. Yesterday was rough for me, especially realizing that getting Elijah to Cincinnati is now going to be tougher than ever with no income to cover COBRA ( COBRA is necessary for him because Medicaid does not go outside the state). As I was digging through some paperwork while sitting on the floor Elijah came in and saw me, as I looked up he said "you don't feel good momma?" to which I just replied "no, I don't feel good today." He just said "well that's ok".

So, if you want to pray for Elijah, Ethan, Josiah ( he is currently staying with a friend due to behavioral issues) and Jeremiah pray for there hearts, their security, their stability and their faith.

God does not lack in His mercy. He has steadily shown His amazing ability to sustain me and my children and for that I am forever grateful.

The point in all this is that I don't want people to see the posts and think, this amazing child, and his amazing family and think that because we post positive things that there are no negatives. We have our ups and our downs, we have our moments of crying, breaking apart and feeling like all is lost but the reality is, it isn't all lost........

God is in control and all this is simply "Beshert" or rather "meant to be". The end result will be glorious and I am confident that the hearts of many will continue to be blessed by the amazing miracle of my son, his faith and his confidence.

Thank you for your care, your concern and your prayers.

            May your Christmas be blessed because this is truly the most wonderful time of the year!!  

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Thank You to FORD

For those of you who didn't know my son was critically injured in a vehicular accident June 24th or this year. I know that God had everything under control, right down to the vehicle my mother was driving. That being said I feel it is only right that Ford hear just how grateful I am for the work they do on the vehicles they produce. Everyone needs to know they are doing a good job from time to time and I don't think the people at Ford are any exception to that!!!


To Whom it may concern:

First I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lauren and I am a mother of 4 boys and now a faithful Ford F150 lover.

             This year, a Cadillac Escalade that was traveling at a minimum of 70 MPH hit my mothers’ Ford F150 on the passenger side as I in the vehicle behind her watched in horror. The impact was unbelievable.  I can remember each second as the Ford was pushed, bulldozed really, before it began to spin for 3 ½ rotations finally coming to a stop facing me across the intersection. In the truck were my mother, my two oldest sons and my nephew. I knew I would face something unimaginable as I parked my car and began to assess the scene.

But this is where the vehicle makes a difference to me. My mother was getting out! My second oldest son Ethan (6 at the time) was saying “I’m ok. I’m ok.”, my nephew was saying “Elijah, Elijah wake up, wake up”….. my nephew appeared to be ok as well.

       Elijah, the only one on the impact side was unresponsive. This boy, my son, eight years old, an avid seatbelt wearer, sat slumped over in his seat, seatbelt still secure. The rest of what unfolded is a story a mother should never have to endure, weeks in ICU, 2 months in inpatient rehabilitation and months more of outpatient care.

 So, you may ask, why the letter to your company? Simple! 
I want to say THANK YOU! 
Thank you for your diligence, your aim for safety and your careful consideration taken as you create a vehicle. Thank you for the care your workers take in building the vehicles. I’m not in a position to say all your vehicles perform this well, but I’m willing to honestly say it will be the next vehicle I buy and the performance of this one vehicle warrants a Thank You. I don’t typically buy into claims that a corporation puts on their own product but after seeing first hand the performance of my mothers 2003 Ford F150 Lariat, I can attest to the stability, safety and strength that it had against a vehicle that has a curb weight almost 1000lbs heavier.

Today, not even 6 months later my son is well on his way to recovery. Other than a trach tube, you can’t even tell that just a few months ago he was unable to walk, talk or eat. Some may say that I am putting too much stock in the vehicle, but I’m not crazy there is a level of divine intervention for sure, but having a vehicle built well also plays a large part in accident outcomes.  I don’t think I can say it enough and hopefully sometime in the future I’ll be the proud owner of a Ford F150 and when somebody asks me about my vehicle I’ll get to share with them my deep appreciation for how a Ford is built and how I know from personal experience that your slogan “Built Ford tough” isn’t just a slogan to me anymore it’s a statement about how the engineering, safety features, factory production and final completion of your truck made a forever difference in my life and the life of my family.

So once more, thank you and may you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Lauren Laurent

If you want to know more or see the amazing recovery of Elijah feel free to follow him! 

For all those at Ford Motor Company, Thank you so very much! Keep up the good work.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Living in Laneville!

Our time in Alabama was eventful, profitable for learning and eye opening. I did not know that there was a place within the U.S. that could have so much ignorance and still preach like they were the only pocket on God's green earth that was right. Needless to say, moving from there was one of the smartest decisions we made and has opened up a great amount of opportunities that we would not have been afforded had we stayed.

So, where are we now? Living in Laneville...... Texas to be exact. The town of Laneville boasts a 4 way intersection, several closed businesses and a single eatery that most say is good, though we haven't taken the time to try it. Two churches, Baptist and Methodist (we don't attend either) and a park that was dedicated to somebody, not really sure why and the local post office. All in all it is a pleasant environment, people seem to leave each other alone, and that's my preference. The boys enjoy 3 acres behind the house we are renting and the local park is only a few steps away.

Someone has cut the grass at the park recently, the boys are enjoying the weather a bright sunny day 77 degrees and a brisk wind.

Eric and I are still pursuing education, Eric is in his 3rd semester of an Environmental Masters while he works as the Environment, Health and Safety Manager over the Satcom work in Kilgore, a great position which he seems to be thriving at.

I am continuing my Masters in Mental Health Counseling, trying to keep my head above water while homeschooling, raising 4 boys and tending to all sorts of crisis within the home :)

We have recently begun pursuing a Reactive Attachment Diagnosis for your two younger boys. I detest labels but unfortunately the whole of society including family will call you a liar unless you have a doctor (who does NOT know your child) write a note about what you tell them ABOUT YOUR CHILD! It's a sad world we live in. Either way the information put forward for people raising RAD kids has been extremely helpful and we have had some, albeit small, advances in improved behavior. I hope to soon have a small informational post along with a book I wrote that is humorous yet factual on the stress RAD's have on a family and what friends, family and teachers can do to help!

I can honestly say that one of the best things about being in Laneville, TX is that it is appx 40 minutes from Longview, TX where two of the wisest people I know live. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with my Grandparents and cherish each opportunity I have to assist them. The knowledge and truth that they share in conversations is priceless, something that can not be matched by others in my life and the humor they share is often priceless as well. I feel honored to bring my kids over for a visit or two, sometimes those few hours are more valuable than all the training and instruction they get from Eric and I in a week. So these are just a few things about us and our lives, living in Laneville.