The HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD MOTHER OF 2015

         I can hear them already in the not so distant future reminiscing about their "Horrible, awful, no good summer of 2015". I'm already chuckling at the stories we have yet to create but for some reason I know that it's going to be a summer to remember....

       June 4th rolled around and I had had it! I was sick and tired of the demanding cries of video game time, iPad time, app purchases and minecraft. I was already sick of hearing how hot it was and how difficult the simple tasks were to complete. Yes, I'd say it's time for us to enter my kind of summer...... the summer where we ran bare foot on an oil top road, road our bikes to the wagon wheels, mowed the whole lawn with a push mower and drank from the water hose (good minerals and bacteria in there I'm sure).

      A lot of you have a variation of "your summer" and I've noticed that from generation to generation the idea of living life has morphed into a plethora of technology and very little practical experience. I became aware of just how jaded our sense of raising children had become when my husband said to me "they shouldn't go to the creek, there are snakes down there"..... Seriously? Oh wait they are probably the same ol' snakes that I was wading through the creek with a meager 20 years ago! (holy cow am I that old?) Leave it to me to have a warped sense of humor about the "scary" snakes..... Now I'm not advocated total stupidity my boys will acquire that naturally at about 14 but rather I'm talking about kicking of the training wheel and the "electronic guides" and making a stab at living.

      So far my plan has been a crazy success....... WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER...    I've been waking the boys up and rushing them outside for their first activity of the day, weeding the garden. But they will soon learn that the days of mom acting as the alarm clock are going to come to a screeching end. After another week it will be their job to roll their happy butts out of bed and begin the morning routine.... I plan to wake earlier and enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch greeting the sunshine and preparing to watch my future men begin to come of age.

The Apostle Paul wrote this; When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11, NASB)

And the more I think about it right now the more thankful I am that I have come to this reality so quickly. What would my boys look like in 5 years without this revelation? You see I'm not saying that they are men right now but they are supposed to be becoming men. How will I teach them to put away childish things in a world where the men often act less responsible in word, action and behavior than many of the children? How will I teach them to embrace patience, honesty, respect, due diligence or sacrifice when they have never had to experience it for themselves? 

       Just a few days ago my boys took on the task of mowing my parents lawn (begrudgingly at first because it wasn't their idea...lol)..... I sent one of the boys down to our house to fetch the mower. Upon his return I promptly went out to the yard and demonstrated ( not told them how, not told  them what to do, not instructions barked from the sidelines) I took the mower and demonstrated cranking then proceeded to cut a section of grass out as a sample. I then demonstrated how to continue cutting without leaving sections behind and proceeded to hand the responsibility to the boys, instructing them to take turns. It probably took a mere 5 mins before they were beating down the door for a break, a drink of water and a complaint but instead of a sweet mom greeting them at the door they met the Horrible Awful No Good Mother of 2015 who promptly disbanded the mutiny and sent them right back out to the lawn...... They tried this 3 times give or take a few until finally reality set in and I began to hear the steady hum of the mower and not a single voice coming from just outside the door.  

About an hour in the mower fizzled out and I stepped outside to tell them they had just discovered that amazing sound when you actually run out of gas! I sent one of them back down to the house for the gas can. As my one son was walking across the lawn with the can my other son said "bring it here I've got this". I kind of chuckled and replied, "how exactly do you know how to put gas in the mower?" He replied matter of factly.... humph, I watch dad! 

NEVER EVER EVER underestimate how closely 

they are watching you when they aren't watching a screen!

I returned back inside figuring that whatever the outcome a worse case scenario would be spilled gasoline. Ironically what I heard was the start of the mower and a very loud and excited woooooooh whooooooo!!!! As he pushed the mower back towards the area they had been mowing it was in that moment that I knew that I was going to love being the HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD MOM OF 2015 because there was no way a video game could teach my son the gratification of knowing what he can do in the real world.

So as yours go about their summer numbing take a minute and consider what they might be able to accomplish. Catch yourself when you start to say "that's too difficult for them" or "they're not big enough" good pete, LET THEM TRY.  Show them once actually SHOW THEM and then LET THEM GO...... let them discover what does and doesn't work... don't take over when you think it's taking too long, don't shelter them from being uncomfortable or guard them from what will only make them stronger. For goodness sake start being a HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD MOTHER and you'll find out that it produces ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND EXTREMELY CAPABLE YOUNG MEN!!!!

Leadership, it's important.

       As I journey through the muddy waters of having to live the life of a single parent ( I'll refrain from the "single mom" cliche because I realize that being a single parent is not limited to only a mother) and relying on the generous yet stressful world of public assistance, I have been compelled to speak out about what I feel is a vital issue in today's families. The structures that have been laid waste by men who have failed to step up, step out and step through the smoke and obstacles that will quickly blind, maim and destroy a family.  

       I am not going to bash men or say that they are incapable of stepping up and out, I am actually going to paint the issue as it stands. God cursed the man in the garden to work his butt off ( Genesis 3:17-19) and no you're not going to get away with saying that was the woman's curse because he gave us a separate one and trust me as a mother of children born naturally, it was a very sufficient curse ;) (Genesis 3:16) and let us not forget the whole desire for the husband and his whole ruling over us bit......

Oh yes ladies I went there..... it's biblical so suck it up and get over it and  guys you will need to buckle up because I said I am NOT going to bash men, but I am going to bash bad leadership! Wouldn't you? 

I hear many people today talking about the horrid leadership we have in America today! I hear so many say, "If I could just get him face to face I'd tell that president what I think about how he's doing and how I think he should do it differently or just GET OUT OF OFFICE." So take this as a real eye opener and if applicable listen to your wife she may just be telling you something you should be listening to and chances are she's saying it in about as nice a tone as you'd address the current leaders of the country! 

    Every good leader has core values that make them a good leader! One of my former husbands biggest complaints was that I simply was not willing to be lead, but my equally frustrated response was that I simply was not going to be led to slaughter, like a defenseless animal. It is no secret that there are many strong willed independent women who have a head on their shoulders and it is highly presumptuous of a man to think that they will follow them blindly to slaughter.

        There are certain things that a leader of the family must be willing to accept about their position.  I will list them as I see them.

A leader of a family must be capable of

1. Leading an army ( the whole unit, not just the willing ones or the ones that are solid in conviction but the WHOLE UNIT)
2. Leading with integrity 
3. Leading with humility
4. Answer to a higher authority

        George Washington was by far a man that we have all learned accomplished great things when it came to leading his men in battle. Among those men were the 1st Virginia Regiment who upon learning of his plans to resign wrote a letter asking him to either reconsider or appoint a man of equal character. In the letter they stated 

         "Your steady adherence to impartial Justice, your quick Discernment and invariable Regard to Merit, wisely intended to inculcate those genuine Sentiments, of true Honor and Passion for Glory, from which the great military Achievements have been derived, first heighten'd our natural Emulation, and our Desire to excel."

Click Here for the whole letter here!

         Two things jump out at me in this sentence, first, the men list qualities that they seem to feel are important, impartial justice, quick discernment, regard for merit, honor and passion for glory. Secondly, these things, these characteristics are attributed for awakening their natural passion and desire to excel!!!

        Many times I have heard a man say that a women has to want to be led, or that she must be willing, in the right spirit or even broken before she can be led but I would argue that if a woman saw in her leader such characteristics as impartial justice, quick discernment and a regard for merit, her natural desire to excel under leadership as well as her commitment to her leader might be awakened in a way that would set a fire to the God given desires for her spouse! And much like the military men, she would not want or even look forward to any resignation of her leader!

         Ahhh Integrity, where exactly have you gone and honestly ( no pun intended) why do you matter? 

Samuel Johnson is quoted saying 

“There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.”

and Thomas Jefferson says "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." 

         Both men were wise in their ideas and it stands to reason that a leader who lacks integrity will lack in respect. Since men are appointed leaders over the woman it would seem imperative that they embody integrity in such a way that they might be accused of being too honest, or too morally sound. A woman is a delicate creature, longing for a strong arm to hold her, a supportive ear to hear her and a steadfast presentation to ensure her safety. None of these things is possible if her leader lacks integrity for she will feel that the strength is just a "show of force", the ear is simply to pacify her momentarily and that the steadfast presentation is nothing but a hollow shell sure to crumble under pressure. You cannot build confidence on lies, manipulations or even a tiny ounce of deceitfulness. A true leader must embrace integrity.

On ward and forward we march towards the need for humility. 

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less” -C. S. Lewis

         I absolutely love this quote from Lewis, it makes the definition of humility look like a thing that is easy to accomplish! But oh how difficult it is to remember that the thoughts you have should be focused not on yourself but on others. A follower is more likely to want to follow if they know that the person who is leading them is worthy of praise but willfully sets aside such things to make note of someone else's accomplishments. A humble leader is more likely to put his followers first, to provide when there is a need, to go beyond expectations and to understand that others are vital even if they don't have the same roles or responsibilities as them.


         Lastly, a true leader must answer to a higher authority. When a leader does not answer to a higher authority, they are a dictator. A man who answers to God is a man who lives under rules and regulations made to ensure his success. A man who refuses to answer to God becomes a slave to his own devices and quickly destroys his own reputation with those who would otherwise have grown to admire him.

"The blame for the broken homes, the untrained and undisciplined children, the immodestly dressed and fashion-mad wives, and the whole train of evils which curse our American civilization, must be placed upon degenerate, weakling men, slackers and shirkers and quitters, not willing to take the place of manhood and bear the burdens which God lays on men as heads of families." John R. Rice

Mr. Rice brings about a very interesting yet sad reality that the failure of the success of families falls upon the shoulders of the unwilling men, those who simply did not embrace the job of leadership God bestows upon all me who volunteer themselves for the position.

         So, after all this I must revisit my earlier idea that a man, when in a relationship with a woman is supposed to be a leader and as such he should possess the very qualities he might expect in a leader. As you consider what you want out of the President, Congress, Governor and even your local leadership in politics and church you must ask yourself, "Do I have the qualities of a leader? Am I one who should be followed? Am I even leading? Have I taken on the idea that my family is a unit who needs a leader?". All these questions most likely will be answered with a half yes or a hell no but either way there will be an answer.

 Once you have your answer then take those questions to your spouse and see what the answers are!!! 

Will she have the same opinions as the soldiers in Washington's unit? 

Will she beg you not to resign? 

         If you find yourself with the reality that you haven't been leading, START NOW! But don't expect a family that was formerly under your dictatorship to suddenly trust your guidance! You must demonstrate your leadership, repeatedly to cancel out the doubt, mistrust and poor performance you provided in your first term! 

You wouldn't expect anything less from the leader of this country!!!

What's the purpose?

I often wonder, "what's the purpose for all this?" and "Why are we taking this journey?" "What could possibly come of this?", but honestly it doesn't matter! I'm constantly seeing realities that tell me nothing is in vain when you recognize that God really does have it all under control. Wait a minute He doesn't have it under control, He's controlling it. He's got the good and the bad (at least what we think is bad).

Isaiah 47:5

 I form the light, and create darkness:

I make peace, and create evil:

I the Lord do all these things.

To all those who'd like to say that it simply doesn't mean what it says. You can call it calamity, you can call it evil you can call it what you want, but I'd rather believe it is what it is and that He really is the author of EVERYTHING! I know that there are MANY MANY debates about this verse, but for me I'd rather believe that the "care" and "preservation" of the Word is just as relevant to this verse as it is with all the others.

I don't want to serve a God who created a world where something caught Him by surprise. I don't want a God who didn't plan the good and the bad together. We do it all the time, we call it calculated risks. We make decisions knowing the realities, we manipulate what we can control to ensure the outcome is as we would like, the only difference between us and God is that He is the Author of it all. We just get to play a little in the world, He gets to work all things out for His glory.

I am amazed at the journey we have taken so far, the good, the bad and the ugly but none of it is a shock to God, because He's not piloting and waiting for a surprise. He's got it all within His control.

Remember that the next time you think you're at the mercy of the world.

My Thank You to FORD

For those of you who didn't know my son was critically injured in a vehicular accident June 24th or this year. I know that God had everything under control, right down to the vehicle my mother was driving. That being said I feel it is only right that Ford hear just how grateful I am for the work they do on the vehicles they produce. Everyone needs to know they are doing a good job from time to time and I don't think the people at Ford are any exception to that!!!

My letter to the FORD CORPORATION AND THEIR EMPLOYEES

To Whom it may concern:

First I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lauren and I am a mother of 4 boys and now a faithful Ford F150 lover.

             This year, a Cadillac Escalade that was traveling at a minimum of 70 MPH hit my mothers’ Ford F150 on the passenger side as I in the vehicle behind her watched in horror. The impact was unbelievable.  I can remember each second as the Ford was pushed, bulldozed really, before it began to spin for 3 ½ rotations finally coming to a stop facing me across the intersection. In the truck were my mother, my two oldest sons and my nephew. I knew I would face something unimaginable as I parked my car and began to assess the scene.

But this is where the vehicle makes a difference to me. My mother was getting out! My second oldest son Ethan (6 at the time) was saying “I’m ok. I’m ok.”, my nephew was saying “Elijah, Elijah wake up, wake up”….. my nephew appeared to be ok as well.

       Elijah, the only one on the impact side was unresponsive. This boy, my son, eight years old, an avid seatbelt wearer, sat slumped over in his seat, seatbelt still secure. The rest of what unfolded is a story a mother should never have to endure, weeks in ICU, 2 months in inpatient rehabilitation and months more of outpatient care.

 So, you may ask, why the letter to your company? Simple! 

I want to say THANK YOU! 

Thank you for your diligence, your aim for safety and your careful consideration taken as you create a vehicle. Thank you for the care your workers take in building the vehicles. I’m not in a position to say all your vehicles perform this well, but I’m willing to honestly say it will be the next vehicle I buy and the performance of this one vehicle warrants a Thank You. I don’t typically buy into claims that a corporation puts on their own product but after seeing first hand the performance of my mothers 2003 Ford F150 Lariat, I can attest to the stability, safety and strength that it had against a vehicle that has a curb weight almost 1000lbs heavier.

Today, not even 6 months later my son is well on his way to recovery. Other than a trach tube, you can’t even tell that just a few months ago he was unable to walk, talk or eat. Some may say that I am putting too much stock in the vehicle, but I’m not crazy there is a level of divine intervention for sure, but having a vehicle built well also plays a large part in accident outcomes.  I don’t think I can say it enough and hopefully sometime in the future I’ll be the proud owner of a Ford F150 and when somebody asks me about my vehicle I’ll get to share with them my deep appreciation for how a Ford is built and how I know from personal experience that your slogan “Built Ford tough” isn’t just a slogan to me anymore it’s a statement about how the engineering, safety features, factory production and final completion of your truck made a forever difference in my life and the life of my family.

So once more, thank you and may you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Sincerely,                                                                                              
Lauren Laurent

If you want to know more or see the amazing recovery of Elijah feel free to follow him! 

For all those at Ford Motor Company, Thank you so very much! Keep up the good work.

Elijah Rocks Facebook!