What's the purpose?

I often wonder, "what's the purpose for all this?" and "Why are we taking this journey?" "What could possibly come of this?", but honestly it doesn't matter! I'm constantly seeing realities that tell me nothing is in vain when you recognize that God really does have it all under control. Wait a minute He doesn't have it under control, He's controlling it. He's got the good and the bad (at least what we think is bad).

Isaiah 47:5

 I form the light, and create darkness:

I make peace, and create evil:

I the Lord do all these things.

To all those who'd like to say that it simply doesn't mean what it says. You can call it calamity, you can call it evil you can call it what you want, but I'd rather believe it is what it is and that He really is the author of EVERYTHING! I know that there are MANY MANY debates about this verse, but for me I'd rather believe that the "care" and "preservation" of the Word is just as relevant to this verse as it is with all the others.

I don't want to serve a God who created a world where something caught Him by surprise. I don't want a God who didn't plan the good and the bad together. We do it all the time, we call it calculated risks. We make decisions knowing the realities, we manipulate what we can control to ensure the outcome is as we would like, the only difference between us and God is that He is the Author of it all. We just get to play a little in the world, He gets to work all things out for His glory.

I am amazed at the journey we have taken so far, the good, the bad and the ugly but none of it is a shock to God, because He's not piloting and waiting for a surprise. He's got it all within His control.

Remember that the next time you think you're at the mercy of the world.

We're praying for you..... Just call if you need anything....

I hate to say it but I am becoming a critic of my own faith. 

               I am realizing the amount of worthless chatter we present to the world, fellow believer and unbeliever alike. It is no wonder to me that so many people are turned away from faith so quickly. When I consider what I was taught as a child into adulthood and how little I saw it demonstrated it brings me to believe that our complacency as a religion is so deep that we are just as the Pharisees and Sadducees were in the days of Christ. A loudly boasting, noise producing, vast waste of space. Murdering the very essence of our faith through a lack of motivation, a lack of willingness to move and an overall buy in to the ridiculous statements such as "We're praying for you" and "Just call if you need anything".

              Now before you go nuts and think that I've lost all bearing, hear me out. When you hear someone say "we're praying for you" the first thought that comes to mind is "oh that's nice" or maybe you even think about your own prayer time and realize that if they are anything like you.... it's gonna be a short prayer said once or twice and then you'll be quickly forgotten. Even the believers have lost their faith in a solid petition of prayer to the Almighty and rightly so! We have pretty much made "I'll pray for you" a house hold statement as worthless as the slogan on a big company that implies they put customers first! Most importantly we have through that statement around as much as the words "I love you" hit the ears of so many people on Valentines day each year right before they break up and move on!!! We've overused and abused it to the point that it has lost its worth.

           How do we get it back? Simple really, if you say your going to pray for someone then do two things pray for them and then write a note and mail it! Example "I'll pray for your family" you say to a fellow friend. Two days later you think, oh I am supposed to be praying for them. You say a prayer and hastily depart to other things..... they never knew you actually did what you said you were going to do and honestly they have no reason to think you did, cause honestly EVERYBODY SAYS IT! So change the tune, when you say a prayer take 3 extra minutes to write a quick note, "Hey, I was thinking of your family and while I'd love to do more for you I simply can't at this time. But I wanted to know that you were in my thoughts and prayers today!" AND MAIL IT!!!! 

How quickly would those empty words be changed to a meaningful tangible reality for those who heard them and dismissed them as mindless christian chatter!!!

With all that being said to me lately, today my favorite christian phrase is "Just call if you need ANYTHING"..... seriously?     You need me to call?      My needs are posted all over the internet, on Facebook, in emails you have received, in phone calls I have made and YOU need ME to call you???

        As a person who claims to have faith we must learn to embrace our responsibilities as such, when you know someone is in need, you should NOT ask them to "give you a call" your right in FRONT of THEM...... instead of asking them to do yet another embarrassing thing like call and plead their case to you, simply say "I know things are tough right now, is there anything we can do for you?" or even "I saw you had some needs, and I wanted to ask you if x, y, or z might be helpful" showing that you as a caring person actually thought ahead demonstrates your commitment to actively working out your faith. I can honestly say that if I had even a dollar for every time I've heard "We're praying for you" or "If you need ANYTHING just call", my children wouldn't be homeless, we'd have a car of our own and we wouldn't be worrying about how the health insurance bill was going to be paid.

           You can call it ranting, you can claim I'm bitter if that will make you feel better but honestly what makes me angry is the fact that I used to listen to all this stuff about how people were just "hurt" because their expectations of people were too high and they let their "hurt" drive them away from the church....... what  a bunch of hype, the church is a place were building up, edifying, tending to those in need and providing like no other should be happening so where did WE go wrong? We went wrong when we put numbers and limitations on God, when we told God our budget wasn't big enough for His business and when we used the "good steward" excuse to avoid doing our job!!! What if, just what if we actually closed the bank account and worked on cash, paid all our needs in cash and donated the rest to those in need, do you think that God wouldn't provide if we as the "faithful" ones actually believed?

So in another attempt to say "wake up friends" here is my challenge for the week, when you KNOW someone is hurting or in need, don't just say one of the standard phrases and if heaven forbid you do, follow it up properly with ACTION!!!

We could all use a wake up call and I think that if you pay attention to the example God gave us, he didn't ask people to send him a letter before he could meet their needs. He faced it right at the moment it was presented and He FOLLOWED it up with ACTION...... if that is His example it should be ours as well!

GO MAKE A DIFFERENCE (notice it didn't say, go "say a difference).............. 

Laying it all out on the table.

In the last 6 months, many of you have followed me in a journey that both you and I will never forget. Many times you see the posts, positive, uplifting and memorable a few of you who have friended me on my personal page and on occasion see the posts that indicate that it isn't always easy. So today in an attempt to help you understand the journey that myself and my children have traveled in the last year I will be laying it out on the table, all of it.

Seven months ago I was a married woman, two biological boys and two adopted boys and life was fairly normal. My husband had a good job working with a great company, we were renting a house out in the country and enjoying the relatively close friends and family after moving to Texas in January. We attended Bar-None Cowboy Church where the boys had some great men and women guiding their learning while we sat in on the Sunday sermon each week. To the outside it was a picturesque christian family with the standard minor bump and bruises one might expect in life.

On the inside it was a tough struggle as honesty and integrity were not the staple of my spouse, it made me a sad, emotionally strained and often times nagging wife. I have no excuse for my responses and I am learning every day how to balance my responses in spite of others behaviors ( I'll let you know when I figure it out). One of the most devastating parts of the marriage was pornography, it is in my opinion one of the most vial, most utilized tools of the devil one might experience next to addictions. This was our life.

June 24th came and thus the introduction of hundreds of people to the life of our son, his condition and the overall need he had for prayer, we all needed prayer. You watched and waited, anticipated and prayed with us as God took our son from a crumpled mess to an amazing miracle, and you rejoiced with us as the journey unfolded. While so many of you complemented the faith you felt was displayed, you were in your responses such an intricate part of the healing process for me, as the prayers of many accomplish so much. I will never be able to thank you all individually for your prayer and support so please take this as a Thank You!

While some people may begin to read this and think, what is the relevance of this to Elijah? I hope that you will take the time to finish it so that you may better know how to direct your prayers as we have a journey behind the journey you see.

After returning from Rehabilitation with Elijah, all my boys were home in the same house and life started to normalize a little bit, though things between Eric and I were not normalizing at all.

He was angry, very angry. Angry at God, my mother for driving, angry at God again, angry at the church for their lack of response, angry at God. The defining moment in our marriage came when I saw him texting someone, when I asked who he responded "that's none of your business". I can officially say I lost it, after weeks in the hospital taking care of my child, monitoring and managing the care of our other 3 children who were also in San Antonio with friends while I was down there, I realized that he had had weeks of time to feed his anger and to seek comfort in places that may or may not have been appropriate. The end result was an altercation between us, Eric left that night. He returned home one time afterwards, it was not good, he left.

He filed for divorce on Sept. 21st, he traded his car in for a Jeep ( I felt like I had been stabbed, my son almost died in a car accident how could he think this was ok?). As with all divorces there were discussions, arguments and so many other things that go with it. Throughout this time my concerns were securing support and insurance for the children, Elijah needed the insurance, so do the other kids. In order for there to be support Eric had to have a job. I knew that the Jeep he had traded had never had the financing secured so I asked the attorney to award him the vehicle I was driving, though I knew it would jeopardize transportation for myself and the children I also knew that him not having transportation would jeopardize his ability to maintain a job thus risking financial support and insurance coverage. Making such a decision was not easy but I felt it was the best decision given the circumstances of his current vehicle.

On Nov. 27th, the divorce was finalized. A week later he requested the car because the dealership was requesting the Jeep back. I dropped the car off at the local bus station, stashed the keys and left. I don't know that the kids even reacted much to this, but for me leaving behind my source of transportation was difficult though I felt it was a necessary evil to make sure he kept his job.

God has plans that are beyond our understanding and despite my carefully considered planning. Eric was fired from his job Dec. 14th, the situation that led to the firing is undetermined at this point, but I have been told a number of things by various people. You can imagine how I took this news. Monday morning I went to his former job location to find out what I could about COBRA cost. I was informed that the insurance was terminated the day he was fired. I was devastated, I quickly learned that COBRA would cost $673 dollars a month just to carry Elijah, not my other boys, just Elijah.

I can not begin to explain all the details of everything that has happened in the last 6 months. At the beginning of this post I started by saying "7 months ago I was" so I will now finish this post with.... Today I am a single mother, I have no insurance, no income, no vehicle and due to circumstances that have no control over I will need to find another home to rent. After 11 years of marriage, my life had drastically changed, my children's lives had been rocked with an assault they never saw coming and through it all they are still doing well! Sure these things are impacting them, and yes they cry and wonder why all this is happening from time to time but ultimately they are handling it stoically with amazing strength. Yesterday was rough for me, especially realizing that getting Elijah to Cincinnati is now going to be tougher than ever with no income to cover COBRA ( COBRA is necessary for him because Medicaid does not go outside the state). As I was digging through some paperwork while sitting on the floor Elijah came in and saw me, as I looked up he said "you don't feel good momma?" to which I just replied "no, I don't feel good today." He just said "well that's ok".

So, if you want to pray for Elijah, Ethan, Josiah ( he is currently staying with a friend due to behavioral issues) and Jeremiah pray for there hearts, their security, their stability and their faith.

God does not lack in His mercy. He has steadily shown His amazing ability to sustain me and my children and for that I am forever grateful.

The point in all this is that I don't want people to see the posts and think, this amazing child, and his amazing family and think that because we post positive things that there are no negatives. We have our ups and our downs, we have our moments of crying, breaking apart and feeling like all is lost but the reality is, it isn't all lost........

God is in control and all this is simply "Beshert" or rather "meant to be". The end result will be glorious and I am confident that the hearts of many will continue to be blessed by the amazing miracle of my son, his faith and his confidence.

Thank you for your care, your concern and your prayers.

            May your Christmas be blessed because this is truly the most wonderful time of the year!!  
                                                                                         Nicole

My Thank You to FORD

For those of you who didn't know my son was critically injured in a vehicular accident June 24th or this year. I know that God had everything under control, right down to the vehicle my mother was driving. That being said I feel it is only right that Ford hear just how grateful I am for the work they do on the vehicles they produce. Everyone needs to know they are doing a good job from time to time and I don't think the people at Ford are any exception to that!!!

My letter to the FORD CORPORATION AND THEIR EMPLOYEES

To Whom it may concern:

First I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lauren and I am a mother of 4 boys and now a faithful Ford F150 lover.

             This year, a Cadillac Escalade that was traveling at a minimum of 70 MPH hit my mothers’ Ford F150 on the passenger side as I in the vehicle behind her watched in horror. The impact was unbelievable.  I can remember each second as the Ford was pushed, bulldozed really, before it began to spin for 3 ½ rotations finally coming to a stop facing me across the intersection. In the truck were my mother, my two oldest sons and my nephew. I knew I would face something unimaginable as I parked my car and began to assess the scene.

But this is where the vehicle makes a difference to me. My mother was getting out! My second oldest son Ethan (6 at the time) was saying “I’m ok. I’m ok.”, my nephew was saying “Elijah, Elijah wake up, wake up”….. my nephew appeared to be ok as well.

       Elijah, the only one on the impact side was unresponsive. This boy, my son, eight years old, an avid seatbelt wearer, sat slumped over in his seat, seatbelt still secure. The rest of what unfolded is a story a mother should never have to endure, weeks in ICU, 2 months in inpatient rehabilitation and months more of outpatient care.

 So, you may ask, why the letter to your company? Simple! 

I want to say THANK YOU! 

Thank you for your diligence, your aim for safety and your careful consideration taken as you create a vehicle. Thank you for the care your workers take in building the vehicles. I’m not in a position to say all your vehicles perform this well, but I’m willing to honestly say it will be the next vehicle I buy and the performance of this one vehicle warrants a Thank You. I don’t typically buy into claims that a corporation puts on their own product but after seeing first hand the performance of my mothers 2003 Ford F150 Lariat, I can attest to the stability, safety and strength that it had against a vehicle that has a curb weight almost 1000lbs heavier.

Today, not even 6 months later my son is well on his way to recovery. Other than a trach tube, you can’t even tell that just a few months ago he was unable to walk, talk or eat. Some may say that I am putting too much stock in the vehicle, but I’m not crazy there is a level of divine intervention for sure, but having a vehicle built well also plays a large part in accident outcomes.  I don’t think I can say it enough and hopefully sometime in the future I’ll be the proud owner of a Ford F150 and when somebody asks me about my vehicle I’ll get to share with them my deep appreciation for how a Ford is built and how I know from personal experience that your slogan “Built Ford tough” isn’t just a slogan to me anymore it’s a statement about how the engineering, safety features, factory production and final completion of your truck made a forever difference in my life and the life of my family.

So once more, thank you and may you all have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Sincerely,                                                                                              
Lauren Laurent

If you want to know more or see the amazing recovery of Elijah feel free to follow him! 

For all those at Ford Motor Company, Thank you so very much! Keep up the good work.

Elijah Rocks Facebook!